The Lemonade: “Star Wars: The Fanboy Awakens” Review

By Will Anderson

This holiday break I awaited in eagerness for one of the most anticipated sequels from the past decade of current films. “Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Road Chip”. However due to an online mishap, my midnight screening tickets I pre-ordered back in October were instead for the cult phenomenon of “Star Wars”. Begrudgingly I decided to attend the premiere, seeing how the last Star Wars films I saw, the prequels, were quite enjoyable. (Don’t worry I was still wearing my classic Alvin paraphernalia to show those fanboys where my true passion was.) I would much rather watch those movies than listen to Darth Vader speak any line of dialogue. Has this guy ever heard of an inhaler? What a dingus.

Incidentally, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” is filled with a variety of new faces for the franchise including Adam Fiber, Oscar Mayer and John Bojangles. Probably one of the biggest breakout performances from the new cast come from a vastly unknown actress Daisy Ridley. She unfortunately plays the classic Mary Sue character troupe, with powers that will even make Superman raise an eyebrow. Harrison Ford plays much of an opposite character to Ridley’s, which is more of a Barry Drew sort of variety. Coincidently Mark Hamill is more of a scary boo architype.

Another character that seems to have resonated with the youth culture is the villainous Kylo Ren. Nevertheless don’t be swayed by the outward aesthetic design. Kylo Ren at his core is a Hot topic wearing thirteen year old with a Jack Skevington tutu, neon sleeves under an Invader Zim T-shirt and fingerless Blink-182 gloves who constantly has to remind his parents that he isn’t just going through a phase.

One of the things I most admired about the production was its use of practical effects from sets to props and even puppets. How they were ever able to find such a life like marionette of Carrie Fisher is still baffling to me.

If you haven’t seen the film here is a fair warning for my spoiler section of the review. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS: I regret to inform loyal Star Wars enthusiasts that the beloved fan-favorite character Ello Asty tragically passes away at the end during the third act of the film. I did feel conversely, it was cheap way to play with the audience’s emotions. This was so prevalent the viewers began to cry even before his death, almost as if they were expecting it.

Over all this new Star Wars film had some bright spots, but disappoints casual viewers. Hopefully the next film will be able to come up with more original ideas. I give Star Wars: A New Hope half an Alvin out of the Chipmunk trio.

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