How to Rule the World of Social Media in Five Easy Steps

MT Marstellar

@mtmarstellar

Selfie queens, hashtag floozies, karma whores-don’t be these people. Stop flooding your newsfeed with food play by plays and seek this article’s semi-professional advice. With five easy steps you can avoid being swept into the realm of cringeworthy social media faux pas.

1. Pick an optimal posting time. To ensure that people actually see your post, pick a time when most people will be online.

Settle on a posting time when people will be out of class or off work. You want their focus to be on your picture, status or tweet, not the dinner they are eating or what their professor is rambling about.

Optimal Posting Time: 5-7 p.m.

2.               Choose the right filter.

When choosing a filter, it is important to choose a filter that meets somewhere in the middle of a Cheetos-covered Oompa Loompa and a vampire that would make Edward Cullen jealous. If you’re feeling a little more on the artsy side, the occasional black and white photo can prove to be a true crowd pleaser.

        Verdict: To avoid sparkling in the sunlight, it is best to stick to Valencia or Slumber (filters available with the newest Instagram update).

3.   Choose the right caption. Make it clever.

The perfect caption is one that is both relatable and captivating to your audience. For optimal “likeage,” song lyrics, cheesy poems and hysterical embarrassing childhood moments are always safe go-to ideas.

4.               To selfie, or not to selfie.

Selfies on social media are only acceptable under three circumstances:

• You just got a new haircut
• You used a selfie stick
• You are posing with a small, adorable animal

Sidenote: for reaching optimal likes, it is best to remove oneself from said picture with the adorable animal and just post the bundle of cuteness instead.

5.               Should you really be posting that status?

When asking yourself if you should post a status or tweet, think about the circumstances in front of you, and ask yourself three simple questions:

• Is this a rant that will annoy everyone that sees this?
• Is this an inside joke that only three people will understand?
• If I were reading this status, would I keep scrolling?

Bottom Line: If you answered any of the three questions above with an enthusiastic or even half-hearted “yes,” it’s probably a status that is better left unpublished.

Now you have the tips and tricks to rule the empire that is the world of social media, so go claim your throne!