The Lemonade: Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day

By Will Anderson

I don’t mean to brag, but one thing I pride myself in is how I treat my dates. If you and your partner feel as if things are becoming dull, here are six easy steps to really put the kick back into your relationship just in time for the day of love.

1 Spice it up: To quote the great Victoria Beckham “Spice up your life”. Nothing says I love you more like Tarragon and Parsley. Looking to get the juices jumping in bed? Try a little chili powder foreplay.

2 Be spontaneous: So often I hear couples long for the days of romantic outings such as dinner, movies, or the simple Netflix and sex nights. Fake your own death if you’re really looking to shock your partner. Not only will you be able to get a genuine reaction from your significant other, but also see how they and others might really feel about you.

3 Roleplay: I’m not talking about your typical doctor, teacher fantasies. Create your own original character. The more horrible the character, the more your companion can appreciate you and realize how it could be much worse. It’s highly encouraged to involve props such as guns, knives and chainsaws.

4 Trustworthiness: The number one key to a perfect relationship is how much you both are willing to trust each other. A fun game I enjoy playing with my dates is “Where are we?” In this game I pretend to take my significant other out on an extravagant night on the town, when in actuality we are headed to the closest abandoned warehouse. Right when she ask the question, “Where are we?” I take a page out from my favorite family friendly film Aladdin and respond with “Do you trust me?” If her response is yes, I know she is the one for me. Unfortunately before I can even ask the question, she is usually half way out the door running like a maniac.

5 Honesty: Who doesn’t love being told the truth? Everyone. That’s why you must continuously lie about everything to each other. Forgot an anniversary? Pretend you have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Late nights out with no explanations? You’ve been trying to “find yourself” out in the woods. Pregnant? It’s just an unknown species growing in your stomach

6 If all else fails: Break up. There is obvious no hope

 

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