Breaking the Rule

This is it—the final column of my career here at Georgia College. So, just because it’s poetic, let’s end it like we started, shall we? A list of 20 things:

1. When the Hawks start caring about a full seven-game series, that’s when I’ll care, too.

2. When in doubt, wear a Braves shirt. Or hat. Or Braves anything. You will be approved of.

3. Sports is the only type of drama I enjoy.

4. It was my birthday this week—some adjectives used to describe me by those younger than me: rusty, elderly, geriatric, decrepit, impaired, loquacious.

5. Somebody get me a cane, it’s time to rampage.

6. Here’s a poem about baseball. If Kansas City or Baltimore ends up making the playoffs, I will not predict anything ever again.

7. Okay, that wasn’t a poem. So sue me.

8. Japanese baseball players are great for two reasons: You have no idea what you’re getting when they play in the MLB, but their names are fun to yell at the TV. “Ichiro!” “Dice-K!” “Kamkikaz…I mean, Kawakami!”

9. Just remember. Sports is an entertainment industry. If a sport’s ratings are low, then guess what? It’s not entertaining. If you want it to be popular, change the game already.

10. Andrew Burton, Bryan Smith, Brad Williams, Scotty Thompson: You have, at some point or another, given me a fresh idea for a column. Thank you.

11. Fantasy baseball is a man’s game. Fantasy football is for lazy punks who can’t check their team three times a week for four minutes. Stop whining and man up.

12. You remember me saying I hate Twitter? That changed.

13. It changed when I found people like columnists at the Atlanta Journal Constitution, public realations guys for the Hawks and editors at Fox Sports South will actually tweet you back.

14. I don’t care if they don’t know me. I still feel freaking awesome!

15. I’ve said this already, but hockey stands to gain the most if the NFL gets locked out. Why? Because we like hard hits, and it’d be kind of new to us all. Plus, they have a good marketing staff (see NHL All-Star game).

16. Sports people I read a ton: Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, Jeff Schultz, anything by ESPN page two crew, John Clayton, Adam Schefter.

17. One day, somehow, I will either work for ESPN or for an Atlanta professional sports team. You heard it here.

18. I’ll admit it. I’ll miss the dining hall a bit when I graduate. If only because I like not having to cook.

19. Oh heck, I just like being lazy in general.

20. To each of you who’s kept up with these stupidly off-the-wall columns: Thank you. I hope you’ve at least been entertained from time  to time. For the last time…keep breaking the rule!

Posted by Caleb Rule on Apr 21 2011. Filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.