Astrological Forecast

Aquarius (January 21- February 18)- If something isn’t making you happy then drop it like it’s hot. Listen to Snoop Dogg.

Pisces (February 19- March 20)-Calling someone ugly doesn’t make you any prettier. Be nice this week.

Aries (March 20- April 19)- As Polonius says: “To thine own self be true.” Of course Shakespeare was making fun of clichés when he wrote that, but oh, well.

Taurus (April 20- May 20)- Don’t slam doors, this isn’t “A Doll’s House.” If you get the reference, then you get a cookie.

Gemini (May 21- June 20)- Even though your favorite show is over for the season keep on trucking because unfortunately you can’t hibernate until Jan. or until “Jersey Shore” goes to Italy.

Cancer (June 21- July 21)-The tarot cards say listen to more Jessie J. She wrote “Party in the USA,” after all.

Leo (July 22- August 22)-Don’t get a tumblr because you’ll eat, dream and sleep it. It’s addicting- beware.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)-Saturn’s orbit will be in retrograde this week and it will bring disaster to your life. But do you really leave your fate to some planets without life on them?

Libra (September 23- October 22)- You will meet a potemtial mate with an exotic name this week. Even if he or she has a significant other they’ll break up soon.

Scorpio (October 23- November 21)- Wear something sparkly this week to attract good aura. It will bring love and luck into your life because clothes are that powerful.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21-Make it your goal this week to dress well even when you feel like crap. It will fool everyone.

Capricorn (December 22- January 20)- No matter what Charlie Sheen says it is not winning to get completely wasted every week. The crystal ball says this will end in a future of asking do you want fries with that?

Posted by Danielle Paluga on Apr 2 2011. Filed under Leisure. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.