Astrological Forcast

Aquarius (January 21- February 18)- Most of you have nothing to worry about. That’s because you are lucky enough to have a birthday in the first part of February. You’re envied school wide.

Pisces (February 19- March 20)- Now’s the time to eat more fish because, well, it’s healthy. Trust me I’m an astrologer. I know stuff.

Aries (March 20- April 19)- Be more memorable this week by dressing, dancing or just generally acting like a Ke$ha song. Just don’t pull a cannibal and eat anyone.

Taurus (April 20- May 20)- According to the new Zodiac you’re the most awesome sign because you have all the best June babies, but this astrologer is a traditionalist so watch out. It doesn’t look like Mars is on your side.

Gemini (May 21- June 20)- Oh the most gorgeous sign of them all! Too bad these things are real otherwise you’d get a new car, win the lottery, and get a 4.0 GPA this semester.

Cancer (June 21- July 21)- Well crabby pants seems like you’re going to have a good week so stop complaining. You might just get invited to the best party on campus. If you do hit me up.

Leo (July 22- August 22)- Strong as a lion you are. It’s time to test that by upping your bench press. It’s not like you have anything else to do.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)- Feeling a little bit like goodie two shoes? Well stop it. No one likes those. Until next week, then you’ll be super popular.

Libra (September 23- October 22)- If you’re feeling not quite as balanced as your sign, the scale, implies, it might be time to break down and see a therapist or watch an episode of Dr. Phil. They’re the same thing.

Scorpio (October 23- November 21)- No one cares if you’re having a bad day; stop stinging people like the scorpion you are. As the old adage goes: you attract more mice with cheese than with oatmeal or something like that.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)- It’s time to score a new lover. If your charms don’t snag him then use a good old-fashioned bow and arrow. But be warned he might make you pay for the hospital bill.

Capricorn (December 22- January 20)- Don’t let bad times get your goat! Enjoy these relaxing weeks before professors start to lay on the homework.

Posted by Danielle Paluga on Jan 27 2011. Filed under Leisure. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.