Halloween has changed

Has Halloween lost its nostalgia? Since coming to GCSU, I have asked myself this question. Usually I drown my suspicions in denial and candy corn, but this year I’m afraid to announce the answer was a deafening yes.

Every student longs for the days when trick-or-treating was the highlight of October and pretending to be someone else was the only reason for crawling out of bed on a frigid Sunday morning. Halloween was filled with the mysteries and the exciting possibility Grandma would arrive on a flying bus to announce you’re secretly a witch from another dimension loosely based off a Tim Burton claymation musical. Even in college we try desperately to recreate these sugar-induced feelings with one tiny addition—alcohol.

Like every year, I decided to focus on a costume that was a crowd pleaser while representing the achievements of great Americans.

This year, I was Huckleberry Finn. One assumes an adventurous young lad like myself could roam the streets reliving the joys of yesterday without worries as long as I maintained a pep in my step and a large black man to protect me from pedophiles. Then, it hit me. As kids we would run up to homes, demand confectionery treats, and our only concern were creepers parading the streets under the influences of drugs and taking advantage of innocent youngsters in costumes. As I journeyed downtown, I realized my generation has become those creepers.

It is a long American tradition for young women to parade around in costumes that transform childhood icons into street walkers, but I believe this fad has gone too far. While downtown, I noticed Alice throwing up on the sidewalk while the Mad Hatter passed out beside her, and Peter Pan took Wendy into the backroom, which I’m sure does not lead to Neverland. It only leads to an unplanned Jane and a shocking phone call to Mr. Darling. I’m not speaking against adult costumes because paying more for less fabric helps the economy, but could we agree to leave childhood movies alone? It’s too much.

The heartless grip of adulthood is even ruining seasonal Disney movies, such as the infamous “Hocus Pocus.” While curled up with my significant other, who was dressed as a body pillow, I couldn’t help but notice inappropriateness that went over my 7-year-old head, such as the constant mentioning of the word “virgin.” Growing up, I assumed a virgin was a cool kid who could skate, wear tie-dye and raise Sarah Jessica Parker from the dead. All I wanted to be when I grew up was a virgin who befriended zombies and talking cats, but sadly the real world crushed my dreams. Saving yourself just to light the black flame candle doesn’t make animals talk, it only makes them shun you because you’re unpopular.

I have learned to accept Halloween will never be the same, and I suggest you do too. It’s no longer about magic and candy. I’m about watching drunks make complete fools of themselves, and that sounds even better.

Posted by Steve Holbert on Nov 5 2010. Filed under Opinion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.