Ready for disasters

Being prepared can prevent a bad situation from escalating. Public Safety arms students to avoid catastrophe, ensure safety

Fire

In the event of a fire, students should activate one of the pull stations located throughout the building if the fire alarm is not already sounding. Most alarms on campus will automatically sound once smoke is detected. Students should follow the evacuation route of their building and go outside. The event should be reported to Public Safety and students should remain outside until further notice.

Armed assailant

If there is an armed assailant on campus, students will receive a message notifying them that campus has entered lockdown mode. Students should then make their way to the nearest building, find a closet or office, and close and cover the door. They should also barricade the door and place heavy-duty textbooks inside the front and back of their shirts to protect against gunfire. It is important to stay hidden and quiet and not answer the door. If students have crucial information for the police and they are in a position where they can use a phone, they should call Public Safety. Students should continue to stay barricaded

until they have received an all-clear message or they have been escorted outside by an emergency official.

“when there was an incident in the residence halls involving a student with a weapon, I received a text at the end of my class about it. I was glad to know what was going on so that I would know not to leave the building,” said senior political science major Sydney McRee. “I think that Public Safety has done a great job.”

Tornado

When a tornado watch is issued it means that weather conditions show signs that a tornado could potentially develop. A tornado warning is different in that a tornado has already been spotted and is being monitored. In the event of a warning, students may proceed about their activities, but in a tornado watch, everyone should seek shelter away from windows and doors. After finding shelter, each person should curl up into a ball and stay near a wall until the weather passes.

What to do in a zombie apocalypse, according to Steve Holbert

They don’t know how. They don’t know when. But the government knows a zombie attack will happen. Millions of students earn a higher education in hopes of learning important skills, but no professor is willing to sacrifice five minutes of world civilization to talk about the apocalypse. For readers who care about their future, here are a few tips for surviving the zombie invasion.

The first step is to grab the largest liquor bottle available. Give it to your closest friend to calm their nerves, and then immediately push them into the zombie-infested streets. It may be comforting to know others are facing the same uncertainties, but under no circumstances should you team up with complete strangers because they have an American flag bandanna and a shotgun. This person may have a medical condition, such as diabetes, pregnancy or pedophilia, which could slow down your escape.

Weapons are a must because talking to the zombies about your feelings is useless, unless the zombie is strapped to a chaise lounge. A shotgun is the best option for lousy shoots, but a handgun would work. However, please resist holding it sideways to be thug. Just because there are plenty of cars for the taking does not mean it’s time for role play. A close-range weapon, such as a machete, could also be used for combat and in case one encounters a zombie rainforest.

Humans can only eat bullet shells for so long without dying, so food and water is the next concern. Survivors may be short on cash, so spring to the nearest ATM because the credit or debit machine at Wal-Mart will most likely be down. Nobody wants to be locked behind unbreakable steel bars while the dead walk the earth. Take only portable food such as Vitamin Water, Easy Mac, or something that’ll provide the energy necessary to wrestle bears because it’s only a matter of time before a zombie infects a koala.

It may be tempting to wait out the invasion in Wal-Mart, but resting in a shopping center has always failed. Zombies love low prices, and they will eventually find you inside a building with no dividing walls. However, the store could provide an excellent shelter for at least 48 hours if you don’t Tweet your location for the world to see. Remember, the dead can read even after their reanimation because the power of literacy is just that important.

Once you are rested, tatter your clothes, paint your face like a zombie and do the thriller dance all the way to the lake. Find a boat and make your way to the center of the ocean and wait it out. One can live for weeks off rainwater and fish, so bask in the sun until zombies eventually decay. You will be safe, surviving and most importantly tan, at least until the government creates mer-zombies.

Posted by Stephanie Reagan on Sep 24 2010. Filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.