‘I’ve had nightmares after it’

GCSU student recalls assault, aftermath

Rapists and sexual assault offenders leave in their wake a mental and physical scar that for most, never heals. Women across the nation and on this campus deal with the aftermath of assault every day. This is one of their stories.

Two years ago, a current GCSU student was assaulted in her home by someone she knew. To this day a report has not been filed against the individual and her story remains between her, her assaulter and very few close friends.

She was in her senior year of high school, so close to graduation and on her way to college when she and a few friends held a house party. After taking a legal herbal drug called Red Dawn, the female was taken to her bedroom where she was sexually assaulted.

“I remember specifically him telling me that if we were to have sex it would be rape, but somehow that made doing other things OK,” she said.

The mental anguish and confusion she felt after the situation left her physically ill and depressed. Guilt weighed her down and left her wanting to tell no one about what had happened as she believed it was her own fault for putting herself in that situation.

“I couldn’t stomach talking about it. It wasn’t until very recently that I could actually think about it. I’ve had nightmares after it, seeing his face makes me cringe,” she said.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, every assault situation is different, and victims will, in turn, respond differently to the situation. Physical symptoms that may be encountered include vomiting, and headaches as well as the risk of becoming pregnant or the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. There is also a possibility for broken bones, genital injuries and other physical injuries depending on the violence of the crime.

GCSU Student Health Services first response is to offer support and comfort to those who come to them, director Dr. Alice Loper said.

“We always try to get the victim to allow us to call Public Safety so they can get started on a report and investigation, however, some victims will not do this and we cannot force them to do so, but we strongly encourage it,” Loper said.

This student’s attacker was never brought to justice, in fact, he still floats in and out of her life through mutual friends.

“When he looks at me, he can’t really look at me. I think that he’s nervous around me because he knows what he did and I don’t think that he’s necessarily a bad person but he definitely made a bad decision,” she said.

Fear of judgment and falsely placed guilt kept her from going to the police or seeking medical attention.

“Ideally, a victim should go to the ER immediately after the assault without showering, changing clothes or anything,” Loper said. “The more evidence the better and the stronger the case, if the victim will press charges.”

Now, nearly two years after the attack, the woman, a GCSU student, still struggles with the memories of her assault. She has spent the past two years blocking the incident out and dealing with the psychological repercussions of experiencing something so traumatic. The nightmares have lessened but are not gone.

“If it’s bad or whatever, I don’t know, I hope to repress it again and not really talk about it,” she said.

Posted by Lissa Speer on Mar 19 2010. Filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry