The Side Line

With this, my 30th Side Line column, I am making a declaration: fantasy sports are lame. They just are. Sure, I used to play fantasy football, and tried baseball, basketball and even NASCAR as well.

But as the years went by, I became increasingly opposed to the idea of fantasy sports in general. And here’s why.

First, playing fantasy sports and being a huge sports fan very often clash, with terrible emotional side effects. I picture a scenario where the Falcons are playing the Saints in the final regular-season game, which will decide the NFC South and who goes to the playoffs. Of course I’m pulling for my Falcons, but I’ve got Drew Brees starting at quarterback on my fantasy team, “Beer Pong is a Sport,” and it’s the playoffs in my league. Ouch. Basically, your loyalties are tested weekly.

Second, the subculture of fantasy sports has gotten out of hand. It’s at World of Warcraft level. There are fantasy guides written that people actually often pay real money to read. Guys talk smack to each other about how well “their” player performed in a game. Draft parties are held, where a bunch of guys sit around with lists of every player in the NFL and take turns selecting real players for their imaginary teams. I admit I’m a nerd, and a sports nerd at that, but I sat through one draft party and will never do it again.

Finally, the alternatives to playing far outweigh the tediousness and feeling of disconnect you get from fantasy games. Just grab some gameday grub and a couch, and enjoy an entire day of football without having to constantly check on random players’ stats. Appreciate momentum changes, comebacks, and upsets instead of meaningless point systems.

If you need to showcase your knowledge of sports, why not head to trivia at your favorite restaurant or bar? Or, if you’re sports-savvy and lucky, why not put some money where your mouth is and lay down a bet?

But that’s a whole other Side Line.

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Sep 18 2009. Filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry