Academy Award predictions
The problem is, last Thursday I watched “Man on Wire,” which might be the best documentary I’ve ever seen. On Saturday I finally saw “The Wrestler,” and it spoke to me on two levels-as a recovering wrestling fan and an aspiring film buff. In the months prior, I saw “The Dark Knight” not once, not twice, but three times. (I wasn’t the only one.) “WALL-E” is incredibly romantic, not just for an animated film starring a bunch of robots, but by any standard.
I could go on.
The point is, 2008 totally underwhelmed the critics, especially when juxtaposed against 2007, which (they tell us) was a very strong year for film. But I’m pretty sure I’d take my top five of 2008-in alphabetical order: “In Bruges,” “Man on Wire,” “Slumdog Millionaire,” “WALL-E,” “The Wrestler”-over my top five of 2007, which would go something like this: “Michael Clayton,” “Once,” “Superbad,” “There Will Be Blood,” “Zodiac”. (Sorry, no love for “No Country”.) In short, I think 2008 is getting a raw deal, in large part because of the stupid Academy and its stupid Awards (particularly the stupid Best Picture nominees).
That being said, I’m still going to try and get inside the heads of these snooty fools and predict in the winners in each of the major categories. I’m no Stephen Colbert (who went five-for-five last year), so we’d better start with a few gimmes:
Best Animated Film: “WALL-E” I liked “Kung-Fu Panda,” but it’s not quite on WALL-E’s level. He’s the lovechild of Charlie Chaplin and Johnny 5, so if you’re not rooting for him, you probably don’t have a soul.
Best Documentary: “Man on Wire” Go see this movie. If it doesn’t make you want to do something grand and poetic and slightly illegal, well, again, you are probably lacking in the soul department.
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger (“The Dark Knight”). The odds in Vegas are 50:1 in Ledger’s favor right now, and with good reason. His performance rivals Daniel Day-Lewis’s (Oscar-winning) turn in “There Will Be Blood”-both are electric, unforgettable portrayals of twisted villains whom you barely recognize, but can’t pull your eyes away from. In another universe where he had never overdosed, Ledger would not deserve this award any less. A loss here would be nothing short of criminal.
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz (“Vicky Cristina Barcelona”). Amy Adams was very good in “Doubt,” but Oscar-worthy? Doubtful. Viola Davis (also in “Doubt”) gave an Oscar-worthy performance, but didn’t get enough screen time (she only had one real scene). I was shocked by Taraji P. Henson’s nomination, not because of her performance (which was fine), but because of the stereotypical character she was trapped inside throughout the wildly overrated “Benjamin Button”. Marisa Tomei looks great naked (at 44!), but she already got her Oscar. That leaves Cruz, who is supposedly spectacular in a movie I haven’t actually seen.
Best Actress: Kate Winslet (“The Reader”). I haven’t seen “The Reader” either, but Winslet is a wonderful actress and 0-5 at the Academy Awards. If for no other reason, this needs to happen to authenticate her satirical, sour-grapes spiel on HBO’s “Extras,” in which she pointed out (way back in 2005) that making a Holocaust film is a surefire way to nab an Oscar. (And here I thought Ricky Gervais couldn’t get any more brilliant.)
Best Actor: Mickey Rourke (“The Wrestler”). My heart is saying Rourke here, but my gut is saying Sean Penn (for “Milk”). I haven’t seen “Milk,” “Frost/Nixon,” or “The Visitor,” but I know two things: Mickey Rourke is deserving of this award, and Brad Pitt is not. (And I’m a Brad Pitt fan.) Pitt’s performance manages to be both completely forgettable and unforgettably bland. I don’t know if there was a character in that movie for him to portray (doubtful), but if there was, he didn’t get the memo, and he just ended up playing himself. It’s a testament to the universal likeability of Brad Pitt that he’s been inexcusably nominated for this award.
Best Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black (“Milk”). I’d love for Martin McDonagh to steal this for “In Bruges,” but lightning isn’t liable to strike twice, and Colin Farrell already snagged a well-deserved Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy. (And I’m not a Colin Farrell fan.) If you haven’t seen this movie, do so immediately. It’s sharp, funny and violent; and truthfully, any of the three leading men (Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes fill out the cast) could have justifiably won that Golden Globe (Gleeson was also nominated).
Best Adapted Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy (“Slumdog Millionaire”)
Best Director: Danny Boyle (“Slumdog Millionaire”)
Best Picture: “Slumdog Millionaire”.Listen up, haters: Just because you sat on your hands for three months while all your friends gushed about this picture, inevitably hyping it up to an unattainable level of greatness in your mind-a cinematic apex, really-does not mean it’s not excellent. It is. If “Slumdog” didn’t live up to your expectations, that’s because your expectations were mad, mad, mad stupid high. And that’s your own fault.
To those who say the movie isn’t realistic: Well, yeah. It’s a modern-day fairy tale. At what point did anyone associated with the film-or more importantly, the film itself-give you the impression that it was supposed to be realistic? At no point, that’s when. Everything on-screen is loud and shiny and beautifully implausible. Just enjoy it.
To those who don’t like the film’s basic conceit: What’s wrong with you? You really don’t like the idea of an impoverished, affable young man going on “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?” and improbably-nay, impossibly-answering the first ten or so questions correctly, then flashing back to show us exactly how he knew the answers? Do you have something against underdogs, flashbacks, or M.I.A. songs? Who doesn’t like underdogs, flashbacks, and M.I.A. songs? What more could you want from a movie? If you said “a love story,” you’re in luck: “Slumdog” has one of those, too.
If you can’t appreciate all that, well, you probably don’t have a soul.
Posted by Colonnade Archives
on Feb 20 2009. Filed under Opinion.
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