Home is where the couch is

    Most college students, at one time in their career, will end up staying over at a friend’s house after a party or just hanging out. Some will sleep on the floor or in an open bed or on a couch. This is the story of a student who lives that night, every night.  Some of the names have been changed in order to protect the interests of the parties involved.

Living Quarters
   
    The scene is what you would expect from an apartment that is home to four college guys. Two couches make an “L” shape along one wall facing two TVs and two computers on the opposite wall.
    “This is my room,” said Guy, a third-year liberal arts major, opening his arms to signify the area around him. “And this,” he said, pointing to the couch he is sitting on, “this is my bed.”
    The bigger TV serves more as background noise than anything else and the smaller TV is closer to the small couch and is used for playing video games.
    Remnants of the last party are still scattered around the room. An empty keg sits near the front door like a trophy. At first glance, all seems normal. But upon closer inspection of the apartment, it becomes apparent that there is something inconsistent in this place. The four roommates have only three modestly sized rooms. All guests curious enough to ask about this get the same answer.
    Upon hearing the answer, the situation becomes clear. To the left of the entertainment center lays a stack of shirts and to the right are stacks of pants and boxers.
    For some, Guy could be living a nightmare, while for others he could be living a dream.
    Guy decided to claim a couch as his home sometime last Fall. He figured he could save money and be closer to campus at the same time. In return for being allowed to occupy the couch permanently, Guy pays each roommate a small fee each month and helps out with groceries and offers his “technological expertise.”
    “I’m planning on adding another TV pretty soon,” he said.

Man on the Run

    Living on a couch in an apartment is a breach of a lease in most cases. This means Guy has to avoid being caught.
    “He had to stay at another friend’s place for a while because the maintenance guys kept coming over,” said Burns, a roommate, not bothering to look away from his video game on the smaller TV.
    Sleeping arrangements are rarely improved for Guy when he is forced to spend some time away from his couch.
    “He even slept under the stairs at one house, like Harry Potter,” said Burns, triggering laughter from the other roommates.
    Guy gets a strong appreciation for his couch while having to stay at different places.
    “He kept telling me when he wasn’t staying with us, ‘I miss the couch,’” said Eddie, another roommate.
    Once comfortably back, though, things can still be tough for Guy.  He has the unenviable task of trying to sleep in front of the only TVs in the apartment and in the main party area.
    “It can be tough to get to sleep sometimes,” Guy said.  “I just have to basically pass out at times. After parties, there’s always that stale beer scent. Sometimes I have to sleep in my car if people are partying too late in the living room.”
    This may be a difficult challenge for most people, but not Guy. Even before living on a couch in the living room of an apartment, Guy liked commotion while he was sleeping. For a few months he lived in a two bedroom duplex with his friend Sarah, and she said Guy always seemed to avoid the quiet.
    “Guy can be pretty loud,” said Sarah, recalling his antics. “The neighbors thought we had parties all the time because he liked to play his music so loud to go to sleep. It seems to me that he would be the perfect guy on the couch.”

Getting Through the Day

    After battling all the commotion and getting comfortable on a couch comes the difficult part of going about daily activities without the privacy of a room. Homework presents a certain challenge to a man without a room (much less, a desk).
    “I pretty much don’t do schoolwork,” Guy said. “One time (my roommates) locked me in Jack’s room and wouldn’t let me come out until I finished my paper.”
    The three with roommates seem to look after Guy.
    “He’s almost like our son,” said Jack, the third roommate, while the others nod in agreement.
    Guy is often prevented from sleeping in, a particular joy of his. Most of the other roommates have earlier classes and wake him up while heading to class. Jack frequently wakes Guy while making breakfast and Eddie’s early morning flatulence serves as alarm clock on many days.
    “For some reason,” Guy said thoughtfully, “it’s the worst while he’s brushing his teeth.”

The Power of the Couch

    According to Guy, the couch not only affects how comfortably he will sleep, but what will be in store for him the next day.
    “He says that when he sleeps with his head on the left side of the couch, good things happen and when he sleeps with his head on the right bad things happen,” said Jack, sharing a laugh with Eddie and Burns.
    Guy sits quietly with a disagreeable look.
    “My bike got stolen when I slept with my head on the right side!” he said.
    Magic powers or no, for Guy, the couch is home.

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Apr 6 2007. Filed under Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry