Horoscopes

Aries: March 21 – April 19
Very shortly you will acquire the key to happiness. Whether the key is true love, money, or a lifetime supply of Riceroni, the happiness will come.

Taurus: April 20 – May 20
A blissful ending to a tragic ordeal will resonate in the days to come. Seek shelter rather than retribution for time poorly spent.

Gemini: May 21 – June 21
The beach is calling your name. A road trip is in order, so pack your bags and leave on a whim. A CD of beach sounds will reach the same effect.

Cancer: June 22 – July 22
The wrath of procrastination will reach its peak in the coming days. When you find yourself watching re-runs of a television show you never really liked, the times are tough.

Leo: July 23 – August 22
Pacify your urge to condemn the incompetent with a midnight run or a candy bar. Revel in your complacent behavior and joyous state of mind.

Virgo: August 23 – September 22
Speak up. You do not want to deny, defy, or crucify that person. Be honest. All you really want to do is be friends.

Libra: September 23 – October 23
Spice up your life and snap into the delight of the night. However, stay away from base-jumping. Studies show the risk rises tremendously at night.

Scorpio: October 24 – November 21
You should pity the fool that is woken up by the banging of pots and pans and an extravagant dose of cold water. Act fast before this happens to you.

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but just think about what you could buy with all that apple money.

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19
Do the mountain, not the dew. The weather looks nice- maybe go camping, sky dive or sail. The outdoors will serve your aura well.

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18
The jury has spoken. Change it up a bit. Get a hair cut, a new shirt, a tattoo.do something.

Pisces: February 19 – March 20
Your excitement is obvious because this is your week to shine. Go with the flow and keep a smile. Smiles are contagious.

Horoscopes contributed by Salem Cook

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Apr 14 2006. Filed under Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry