Valentine’s Day for the lonely

So Valentine’s Day is great for those in relationships, where they can cuddle up on the couch, watch a romantic movie and tell each other ‘I love you’ until the sun comes up. It makes us sick! We are two of the many men who won’t have their sweethearts with them on this romantically important day. Some people out there have no Valentine’s Day lover at all!

So for all you guys out there with no one to cuddle up to, here are some alternate movies you can indulge in before you cry yourself to sleep.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin:

The dilemma of Andy Stitzer (Steve Carrell) is a simple one. He is a virgin. He “always has been.” He is fine with this setup until he lets his secret slip at an after work poker game and his pals make it their personal mission in life to get him laid. Each friend has a different piece of advice ranging from “banging some hood rats” to being like David Caruso in “Jade.”

Highlights include Cal’s (Seth Rogen) weekend in Tijuana, a painfully funny chest waxing scene and some insightful “You know how I know you are gay?” jokes.

Five paws for being hillarious, from start to finish.

Wedding Crashers:

John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn) are two wild and crazy guys who are always the life of the party, especially when they are not invited. As semi-professional wedding crashers, the pair uses their charm to woo the skirts off of the cute bridesmaids. All of that changes though when John and Jeremy crash the Cleary wedding and meet sisters Claire (Rachel McAdams) and Gloria (Isla Fisher). John falls hard for Claire while Jeremy tries to fight off the “stage five clinger” Gloria.

Wilson and Vaughn play off each other perfectly as each give one off the best performances of their careers. Also look for the sexy MILF Kathleen “Kitty Cat” Cleary (Jane Seymour) and a cameo by Will Ferrell as the “Godfather of crashing” Chazz Reinhold.

Four and a half paws for the great comic teaming of Wilson and Vaughn.

Of course, the gentlemen aren’t the only ones left alone on Valentine’s Day. For the ladies, there are also several movies that are excellent for shaking the blues of being lonely on the most romantic day of the year.

Mean Girls:

Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan, before she turned ugly), has just returned to America from living in remote Africa for most of her life where her parents had been working. Upon arriving at school, she falls into the category of misfits, until the good-looking girls (called The Plastics) take an interest in her. Cady then takes it upon herself to destroy the image of “the Queen Bee”, Regina George (Rachel McAdams).

Seeing the high school fall apart when the students rebel against the authority is a treat every time, and seeing how the different cliques of the school view each other is very true of the real world. Oh, and Cady throws up on the guy she’s trying to impress. Perfect for the single lady on Valentine’s Day.

Four out of five, one of the best portrayals of high school on film today.

Bridget Jones’s Diary:

She’s pudgy, she’s alienating every guy she tries to date, and she’s constantly being embarrassed. Bridget Jones (Ren?e Zellweger) is the perfect candidate for a Valentine’s Day bash. Of course, the movie is also fun, as Bridget tries persistently to impress those around her with her non-existent wit and charm. After a New Year’s resolution to get her life together, Bridget finds the overly charming Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant) who loves her “absolutely enormous panties.” Over the course of the film, Bridget must choose between Cleaver and the snotty, yet sweet Mark Darcy (Colin Firth).

Three paws out of five, because as much as we hate to admit it, we secretly enjoy the big panties too.

These four movies combine to create a total score of 3.3 paws out of five. These movies, while romantic, all achieve a higher level because of the laughs they provide, and then general appeal that surrounds them.

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Feb 10 2006. Filed under Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry