“The Rundown” brings action to the big screen

“The Rundown” is an action/comedy which attempts to simulate the wrestling experience, while still making an effort to push the Rock as a legitimate actor. While this may seem like a feat only to be challenged by the most fiercely ignorant minds of Hollywood, it is actually done in the only feasible way possible: by blowing stuff up. The unquenchable thirst for destruction is of course, an absolute requisite for grossly over- budgeted, nonsensical, violent movies the industry has shoveled out over the past few decades.
The Rock is known in this movie simply as Beck, whether or not this is his first name or last is never mentioned, but either way it’s a pretty stupid name. Beck’s a hired muscle that gets mixed up in a quest for an artifact when he goes to retrieve his boss’s son (Stiffler from “American Pie”). Don’t worry about the plot; you won’t miss it when the action begins.
There are some cameos and quips made at the Rock’s expense, which I thought ate away at the Rock’s performance. Thankfully, Director Peter Berg was sure to get all the stupid little Rock jokes out of the way early. Arnold’s cameo was not entirely painless, but it was quick and unexpected. The Rock’s signature move (the “Rock Bottom”) was performed within the first five minutes of the film as if the director was trying to say, “There, we had to do it; I hope you choke on it.”
After that, however, the movie is pretty much reference-free except for an appearance by Stone Cold Steve Austin who plays an Amazon monkey later in the film. Fans of the 1993 comedy film, “Surf Ninjas,” will be pleased to note that Ernie Rays Jr. makes a notable return and completely kicks the stuff out of the Rock. You go Ernie!
Stranded in the hideous bog of movie rudiments such as setting, story and character, “The Rundown” struggles to stay afloat. Some genuine comedic moments keep the movie from panicking, flailing its arms wildly about and then sinking into the coarse, sandy filth of box office poison. However, its real life preserver is its action sequences that keep it just above the threshold. The fight scenes are well choreographed, without seeming like everybody’s kung fu fighting. Too many movies nowadays seem to be saturated with the new fighting style known to the industry as “Clich? Tiger Hidden Matrix” Not to say that there isn’t any “Clich?-Matrix” in this film, but they spread it evenly and removed the icky after-taste.
There are a few things to note when going to see “The Rundown.” Do not expect great acting. Sean William Scott can’t play anybody but Stiffler, and while the Rock makes noble attempts, he still sounds like someone trying to act. Do not expect a plot. Every time you ask yourself, “Why’d they do that?” remind yourself that the lead actor is billed with the first name, ‘The.’
“The Rundown,” while an incredible simulation, is not an actual wrestling event. Do not bring large poster board signs with colorful phrases on them into the theater. My friends and I were kicked out twice for that. Do not yell things at the Rock; he cannot hear you. Also, chanting the name of your favorite wrestler during Christopher Walken’s dialogue is apparently frowned upon. At least it was in our theatre. If you can adhere to these simple rules then you should be able to enjoy this movie- Rock and all.

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Oct 24 2003. Filed under Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry