Relationship realities…

“I want you back…”

So you’re in this great new relationship, and it seems like the start of something outstanding. You find yourself smiling more and doing the little things that being in love causes you to do. But then, as if in a soap opera, a bizarre change of events occur. Your ex, that you took so much time trying to get over and finally succeeded in doing, comes back into your life. And if that’s not bad enough, they want to get back with you and swear to change his/her ways. In this particular instance do we move on with our new relationship, or do we try again with an old romance? You’re forced to ask yourself, what do you do when your ex wants to try a second chance at romance?

There is an old saying that “you never know what you have until it’s gone.” This holds true for most relationships. Usually we feel this way out of guilt, fear or boredom. We are guilty that the relationship ended either because of words, actions or circumstances. Or perhaps we are afraid because of past pains and a fear of commitment, so we sabotage those we love, out of loving us back. Or maybe, we just get to a point where the dating scene gets boring, and it’s far easier to be with someone who knows you, rather than trying to find someone who only knows a part of you. For whatever reason, the tendency to want to go back to old love is simple. We, in our hearts feel that this time, we can make it work.

The sad truth is, that this doesn’t turn out to be a happy ending all of the time. Usually, you try to start up a relationship again and things become awkward, or you soon realize why you ended it in the first place. Either way it’s like watching a movie over again. You already know the plot and all the highlights, so unless you really like it, why do it again? The rule of thumb is to learn to live and let live and move on with your life.

Unless there were defining issues, which prevented you from being together in the first place like religion, race or distance, it is usually not wise to go back into a previous relationship. Now this is not to say that it can never work out, because as we all know, love is a funny, funny thing. But, it does question a persons motives to want to enter back into your life. My advice is to take it all in stride. Besides, you’re already with someone new and in the end, it’s your ex’s loss, not yours.

-Desiree welcomes any comments or questions to her column, you can reach her at colonnade@mail.gcsu.edu

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Feb 21 2003. Filed under Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry