Relationship realities…

“What about your friends”

Before there was romance, the constant smooching, and the oh so adorable public displays of affection, there were your friends. The group of people who hung around you when you were acting normal and knew the real you before love walked into your life. They listened to your complaints, helped you when you were down and laughed along side you through the years.

But what happens when a relationship seems to threaten the very tight bond you have developed with your comrades? Then again, should you keep your dating world and your friends separate?

Case in point, a very good friend of mine is great with the ladies, but sometimes I feel a little left out. Not to say I don’t want him to date and have a great time, but sometimes I wonder what happened to the closeness we use to have. Truth of the matter is, there is nothing wrong. Each of us wants to feel like we’re number one in someone’s life, but we can’t always be. So here is some friendly advice.

Keep in mind that when you are with your friends and when you are with your significant other, you are in essence two different people. It’s kind of like being around your parents and your boss at work. You respect both types of people, but interact differently around them. The same goes for your friends and that special someone. And since your friends have known you longer than your mate has, it is only natural for them to feel a bit left out at times, especially if it seems like you tend to spend more time with the other.

Understand that you can’t always be in two places at one time, but you can be accessible to people. Try letting the new person in your life get to know your friends. You can learn a lot about a person by the people they hang out with. This not only allows your new loved one to get to know your friends and in turn learn a bit more about you, but it also let’s your friends know that you haven’t forgotten about them.

It may seem difficult at first, but there can be a harmonious balance between your friends and the new person in your life. And if for some reason it doesn’t work out just remember, women and men come and go, but true friends are hard to come by.

-Desiree welcomes any comments or questions to her column, you can reach her at colonnade@mail.gcsu

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Feb 7 2003. Filed under Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry