Relationship realities…

“It wasn’t me. . .”

I first have to say that there is no right or wrong answer, nor are there any right or wrong people. With that in mind my question is this.why do people cheat and more so, why do people think that they can get away with it?

We all have our own opinion on this subject. Some might say that men cheat more often, but that women get away with it most of the time. But when you think about it, it’s a matter of why even cheat in the first place? If you’re not happy in the relationship, then why stay with that person?

It all boils down to what type of relationship you are in. Casual dating gives several liberties in a relationship. You don’t have the time invested, nor are there any high emotional values involved.

On the other hand in a long term, let’s say over a one year committed relationship, there are several factors which make cheating a very complicated problem. For one, when you’re with someone committed or exclusive, why do you feel the need to explore? Whether it was intentional or not, the root of cheating comes from the need of wanting to try something new. It can be purely accidental, but let’s face it, if the two of you are alone watching a movie and the chemistry starts, what is accidental there?

Of course there is the theory of what do you have at home. Is there something that the relationship is lacking which causes your partner to run into the arms of another? Be it melodramatic, but it makes you evaluate your role in the relationship. Remember, relationships are simliar to a business, it’s all about balance and compromise.

Underneath it all, the matter at hand is trust. Without trust, there is no respect, and without respect, how can there be an honest relationship? Trust and respect are key values for making anything work in life, be it a job or a relationship. Without them, things just fall apart.

The loss of trust is something that is very hard to regain. And you have to wonder, how can there be love, if there isn’t any trust?

If any readers have questions for relationship expert Desiree Dugger, please email questions to colonnade@mail.gcsu.edu.

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Nov 8 2002. Filed under Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry