Relationship realities…

.Cause breaking up is hard to do.

There comes a point in almost every relationship where the romance simply dies. The fire that sparked a thousand blissful nights is now a flicker attracting moths. And what you dread the most is upon you.it’s time to let go.

By dating standards, a breakup means the release of one’s emotional and personal baggage, (meaning the soon-to-be-ex). But how do you let that not so special someone down easy? And is there a fair way of doing it?

The old adage of face to face still holds true. News, even bad news, is best excepted in person. Only if you have no remorse or feelings for that matter, do you ever end a relationship over the phone. And for you techno savvy individuals, it’s even worse to do in cyberspace.

So now that we know how to drop the bomb, what exactly do you say? I have come across many different versions of the breakup speech, several, I have used myself. However none of them ever starts off with “We need to talk.” Unless you want to see you ex in a huddled mass of
frustration and anxiety, leave those words out.

Basically you want to say the truth without too much truth. You don’t ever want them to know that the real reason you’re breaking up with them is because they’re not smart. Instead mention to them how your ideologies are not the same.

Also, breakups are best done quickly, like an execution. The one thing worse than knowing you’re going to be dumped, is prolonging the pain, so make it swift and get out.

Another very important point is the friendship factor. This is seen in two
ways. First, after the relationship, can you honestly see yourself being friends with this person? Sure you shared the intimate relationship bond, but is that enough to salvage a friendship after the initial pain of a breakup?

Second, what role do your friends play? This is a trick question, because neither your friends, nor your ex’s friends play an important role, because they aren’t in the relationship. So with that in mind, they have no business getting involved that is why dating is one of the last great spectator sports.

And finally, closure. This is probably the most important factor. The end is the end, so in other words let it go. Sure it will take time to heal, but that gives you time to deal and except what just happened. Your feelings might be hurt, but unless your ex was a millionaire, it’s never a great loss.

Instead of moping about like the world is going to end, stay occupied, mingle and for God sakes get out there and try again. No one ever wins the race sitting in the stands. And like I always say, every breakup brings you that much closer to your special someone.

Posted by Colonnade Archives on Sep 27 2002. Filed under Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry